by Drew Howerton, section editor

Relationships are all about learning to love someone.

The internet has changed the way that people learn to love each other. When I was growing up, my parents always told me  that they met at a hockey game in Dallas. But before that, my parents met on AOL. I guess internet dating probably wasn’t crazy to my parents because they both lived roughly in the DFW area, they just so happened to frequent the same chatrooms. Not long after, my mom was pregnant with me and my parents were getting married in the fall of 1999.

So my parents aren’t really weird about online dating because it’s how they met. But online dating is different now than it was then. Apps like Tinder make it easy for people to meet and fall in love. Social media has made it easy to meet people and keep quasi-friendships alive. Some of my best friends are people I met online, people that I can play video games with and text and forge connections with, albeit limited ones. All of these, with people who have lived in different counties and states.

Romance movies love the idea of falling in love with your best friend. But what happens when you fall in love with your best friend in another state?

That was the case with one of my best friends of nearly two years.

I met Alex through my avid use of Tumblr. The details of how we even met are pretty hazy, and it doesn’t even really matter to me anymore. She had an anime profile photo, so did I.

When I was younger, I was warned all the time of sharing personal details online: phone numbers, addresses, real names, etc. But with Alex, all of the conventional rules went out the window as we got to know each other. This was someone who really got me, who really clicked with me in ways that blew my mind. The fact that she lived in California was secondary to me. Suddenly, Alex and I were at another level. She followed me on Twitter, had my personal phone number and called me on the phone. Sure, there were long stretches where we wouldn’t talk, even though she was always in the back of my mind. It went on like that, off and on, for roughly two years.  Recently, we got back in touch and we ended up confessing our feelings for each other, feelings that had been around since the beginnings of our friendship. Out of nowhere, this stranger on the internet became a close friend, someone who made me laugh and confided in me.

When you connect with someone in such a profound way, the way that the connection happens doesn’t matter. Alex and I talk on the phone almost everyday, and we shoot each other quick texts whenever we have free moments. Spotify playlists and shared Pinterest boards replace the physical gifts that we can’t give each other. We’re still working on a plan for her to come visit, for us to be together. That’s not easy for two impatient, slightly broke teenagers, but it’s something to hold on to. Alex lives 1,438 miles away and two time zones over, but I still feel close to her, because we have a connection that defies distance.

Some of my friends were understandably skeptical when I described my situation to them. How could I fall in love with someone that I had never physically met? Parts of me were skeptical too; was there something wrong with me, that I couldn’t connect with anyone closer to home?

Being in a long distance relationship has forced me to think about how love really works. I came to the conclusion that love is not necessarily about holding hands or kissing or hugging, although those can and certainly are important aspects.

Love is about finding someone who makes us think about the truths we hold so dearly. I think I’ve found my someone.