by Drew Howerton, section editor

Christmas morning with three excitable younger brothers is always interesting. Watching them tear apart gifts in an adrenaline fueled haze reminds me of when I was their ages, ripping into a brand new Lego set as parents tried to stem the flow of wrapping paper. 

But even more interesting to me was seeing what I like to call ‘The Big Gift’. In my family, Christmas is usually funded by the in-laws with a bit more money to spare, and usually, they send one or two big gifts for the entire family to use. This Christmas, The Big Gift was a Playstation 4 Pro system. The Playstation was exciting for my three brothers because they share my love for video games and this was the first console that they got since I got a Nintendo Wii for my twelfth birthday. Also included were a couple games that everybody could enjoy, such as some sports games for my dad and the kids that play sports, as well as the newest Lego Star Wars. However, one game got more attention from my brothers than anything else. They had been gifted Grand Theft Auto V, a game they had been wanting ever since they played it at a friends house.

At first, I was a bit confused. GTA V is a game about hijacking cars, packed with nudity, profane language, and violence. When I looked for my parents, hoping to see my confusion mirrored in their faces, they didn’t seem concerned and deciding that I didn’t want to be the buzzkill that ruined Christmas, I kept my mouth shut. But it got me thinking about how much different my brothers’ childhood is from mine when it comes to the topics that they get exposed to. 

I think it’s important to establish that I’m not trying to have a holier-than-thou attitude towards my siblings, because when I was their age I would sit down with my dad and watch stuff like Robot Chicken and South Park, and I certainly was exposed to other forms of media that were not meant for my age group. I think that’s the case for a lot of people my age now, but I also think it’s different because of the way that I was introduced to mature content. When I would watch any movie that was intended for adult audiences, it was usually with my parents and I was forbidden from repeating anything I heard to my friends. Violent video games like Call of Duty and Halo were completely off limits to me. I learned about sex and drugs through word of mouth in elementary and intermediate school. I was exposed to content that wasn’t really intended for my age group, but it was gradual supervised exposure.

My siblings, on the other hand, have had a much different experience from me. Having grown up in an age of constant exposure to the internet, it’s difficult for them to figure out what is and isn’t okay for them to watch, and it’s even more difficult for my parents. For their birthdays, my aunt bought them each an iPad. The iPad is a good first device for kids; it’s not as private as an iPod touch or a cell phone, while still allowing kids to play games and browse the internet if they want. For example, my brothers love to watch YouTube videos about various things like video games, urban legends, and science. However, they usually aren’t given much supervision and often end up watching things that they don’t really understand, like the time they ended up watching a video about the history of pornography. Of course, they had no idea what pornography was and my mom had to explain it to them, but it was clear that my mom wasn’t sure what to do in that position. 

I will say, it was probably easier for my parents to keep tabs on what I was watching as a kid because I was an only child, and I wasn’t given an easy way to get on the internet. I was probably eleven or twelve when I was allowed to use my dad’s now outdated computer, and all I ever did there for a while was look at Lego online. The introduction of three more kids made it difficult to really sit down and talk about what is and isn’t age appropriate, and truth be told my parents probably feel that they’ve exhausted every parenting tool they have. 

But it’s also important to note that the world has changed since I was ten years old, and as much as they won’t admit it, we now live in a world that my parents don’t really recognize. The things my brothers are exposed to are much different from the things that were considered mature when I was their age. I often find my brothers browsing websites they don’t understand, and while they’re almost always harmless, helping them understand internet safety and etiquette often falls to me. (I miss when it was called ‘netiquette’). My parents just can’t readily explain what ‘dabbing’ is. 

When the world changed, probably at the turn of the century, so did the things that became acceptable. When I look back at ‘violent’ video games like Call of Duty: Black Ops and Bioshock, titles that I wasn’t allowed to play, they seem tame compared to the stuff that gets released now, case in point, GTA V. Additionally, computer technology has advanced to the point that they can contain much more realism than the stuff I watched and played as a kid. But video games and movies aren’t the only places where kids see violence. In a day and age when I can turn on the news and see graphic footage of shootings, or open The New York Times and see a full page photo of a gunman standing over the dead body of the Russian ambassador, how do we protect kids from seeing stuff that can potentially scar them? 

The answer is that we really can’t. There is no surefire way to protect kids from graphic or violent material because it’s everywhere. But instead of pointing the finger at Hollywood or ‘decaying morals’, we have to educate today’s children. Instead of pulling a hood over their heads, we have to open their eyes. As much as there is a lot of bad stuff on television and the internet, it’s important to let kids distinguish between good and bad for themselves. I’m not saying let kids watch porn or playing M-rated video games. I’m saying let kids explore and be curious because they’re smarter than we realize. When kids come across things that confuse them or frighten them, we should sit down with them and discuss it, not scold or shun them. The internet has changed the way that we live both for better and for worse, and it would be wrong to shelter them from the benefits of modern society.  The way that kids are raised affects their identities and sheltering them only keeps them from understanding how the world works. 

When I was younger, everything from sexuality to politics seemed to be off limits to me, and it took me a long time to figure out stuff because my parents never talked about it with me. That’s not the life I want for my brothers. I want them to feel like they can ask questions and be curious because they should be allowed to take advantage of the awesome time they live in. If my parents can’t be there to answer questions, I accept the responsibility to answer those questions instead.

So I’m not really bothered by my brothers playing Grand Theft Auto anymore. It’s definitely not the most appropriate thing that they could play, but I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that all they want to do is drive cars and explore as opposed to visiting strip clubs and shooting cops. I would prefer that they played something else, but it’s not my job to restrict them or confuse them. I can only guide them in the right direction and make sure that they feel comfortable like I never did.