by June Jeong, opinions editor

According to pop culture, one of the best things a girl can be…..is not like girls. We’ve all heard some variation of the statement, “I’m just not like other girls.” Or worse, when crusty guys attempt to win girls over with the classic line: “You’re not like other girls…” This breed of female, the “Not-Like-Others Girl,” comes in many different shapes and sizes. She’s Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother, Mila Kunis from Friends With Benefits, Olive from Easy A, Laney Boggs from She’s All That. Her hotness and mystery doesn’t necessarily derive from her conventionally western, attractive features, but rather, just how much her personality makes her a special snowflake; her coolness and ability to stay “chill” separates her from the female masses. She eats all the junk food her heart desires and doesn’t care about gaining weight (but simultaneously manages to maintain a Sports Illustrated worthy physique). She’s never sensitive, sad, or angry. She cusses. She watches sports. She likes to read. She can play video games. She’s deep. She doesn’t just listen to vapid pop music, and she gets it when you never text back. She’s not like other girls!!!

The other day I saw this post on Tumblr that made me reflect on this familiar trope: “I’m just not like other girls,” someone wrote in a post, angstily. This blogger went on to avow wearing sneakers instead of heels, preferring to not wear makeup, being alone instead of enjoying drama, and so on. The real irony is that when I scrolled down the screen, I saw that about 70,000 girls had reblogged it, agreeing wholeheartedly that they too just weren’t like “the Others.”

So what exactly does this say about how the average woman is viewed? It’s that the standard woman is egocentric and enjoys talking badly about her supposed friends when they aren’t around. Her biggest concern is choosing which filter she wants to put on her photos, she wears five layers of foundation, and the only exercise she’s involved in is running when there’s a sale at her favorite clothing store. 

Yes, I know that most people aren’t aware that they’re reinforcing the idea that the average woman is insipid when they say this. And because we’re human, we all like to feel unique and make those we have affection for feel special, so it’s understandable why people choose to make these declarations and compliments. But when did most women become airheads? Why does traditional womanhood equate to shallowness?

I’m definitely not excusing myself from this subtle participation of femininity-hating. My freshman year, I had a lot of guy friends because at the time, I thought being friends with girls just meant “too much drama.” And I distinctly remember telling someone that, nearly word for word. Looking back at what I said, I cringe so hard……I’m honestly mortified because only now do I recognize that I was making ridiculous assumptions about a group made up of almost 3.52 billion people; I genuinely saw the majority of girls my age as catty and self-obsessed. And something similar can be said with guys. No mater what gender or group of people we’re referencing, it’s unfair to generalize an entire population of people this way. The worst part about it is that when we genuinely believe we are different or somehow inherently superior individuals, we miss out on so many opportunities for what could be great friendships and relationships. Right now, my girlfriends are some of the most exceptional and admirable people I know.

I know that it may initially seem like I’m over-analyzing a few haphazardly stated comments. But language is where our thoughts stem from. What we choose to say is how we express our opinions. Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with empowering women to march to a beat of wacky drums, but just imagine how much more beautiful our music could sound if women learned to march alongside each other, rather than compete for the sake of being perceived as different from some fellow women or worse, to win the approval of a guy who’s probably intimidated by strong women. And when we make these sort of comments, the fact is that we’re inadvertently expressing a disdain for qualities some females have that are widely viewed as annoying or inferior. It’s teaching us that if a guy says “you’re so different from other girls,” we should feel special and grateful, whereas, if we say we are, we’re a total joke. 

So instead of saying we’re not like most girls, let’s clarify by saying that we’re not like society’s notions of women. Putting down a gender to separate ourselves from the crowd is petty and usually demeaning. What’s more, there are so many different individuals in this world who happen to be men, women, and of all different races, sexualities, identities. There’s no list of bullet list of qualities that nearly all women possess. Some love to cook, others don’t even know how to work the oven. Some watch and play sports, some like to paint. Some cry at the sad parts in movies, others keep their emotions veiled. Some take an hour to get ready in the morning; others, 5 minutes. And the majority are somewhere in between. My point is that humans are multi-faceted and complex beings. And I’m not like other girls. But neither is my little sister, my mother, my friends, my neighbor, or the girl who sits across from me in math class.