by Stephanie Palazzolo, staff reporter

I’m addicted to social media. And when I say “addicted,” it’s not like the “Oh my goodness, I love to expand my psyche with the power of Facebook” type of addiction. No, it’s more like the “I’ve got to stalk my crush for three hours tonight instead of doing my homework” addiction.

I admit that this issue is mostly due to my lack of self control, but a small part of it is because  social media is, to put it plainly, amazing. Here is the place where you can connect with friends and family, near and far. Here is the place where you can receive daily doses of your favorite celebrity. Here is the place where you can reveal your beautiful selfie to the rest of the world.

Sure, there are plenty of wonderful aspects about social media. However, all newfangled technologies come with their disadvantages, and social media is no different. One of these minuses is the mind-blowing amount of irritating posts and pictures you can find on these networking sites. For your convenience, I have picked the top five (I know, how did I manage to narrow it down to five?) most annoying things on social media.

Awkward relationship statuses/pictures:

Your relationship problems (or lack of problems) might seem news-worthy to you, but most of your Facebook friends really don’t care. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. I probably haven’t even spoken to most of my Facebook friends in years, if at all, so the last thing I want to hear about is their love life. If you have problems with your boyfriend or girlfriend, then you should talk it out with him or her, and if your love life is absolutely perfect, then I’m sure your friends outside of the cyberworld would be happy to obsess over it with you.

An abundance of selfies:

Now, I’m not trying to insult the idea of a selfie at all. Even I’m guilty of taking selfies, because, let’s face it, they’re fun. How else can you share those precious good hair days with the rest of the universe?

In fact, it’s actually become an art form in our society. You have to get it at the perfect 45º angle, apply the best filter to ensure the most airbrushed-looking face and then write a funny and cute caption, all within the time frame of fifteen minutes. Heck, I should get paid for this!, you think.  This is all fine, but the problem comes in when our whole Instagram feeds are filled with selfies. Use social media to share all your cool experiences and adventures with everyone instead of constantly posting pictures of yourself.

People who can’t spell:

Now this one really kills my spelling-loving heart. (Well, not my spelling-loving heart, perhaps. Maybe spelling-tolerating-because-it’s-important heart.) I have seen a number of “alternate” spellings to simple words on Facebook, including but not limited to “yhu”, “thoo”, and “knoe.” I understand that phonetic spelling is a lot simpler, but what really is so hard about using correct spelling and grammar on social media? The whole reason why you have to sit through an hour of learning about capitalization rules and gerunds in English is so you can use them in real life. Just taking the effort to make sure your statuses aren’t littered with typos can really impress other ppl. (See what I did there?)

People who invite me to Petville, Farmville or any-other-ville:

Haven’t you ever been innocently cruising around on Facebook who one of those notices pop up? You know, the ones that frantically scream at you, “Please help! I need one more Toy Bone to make my puppy happy!” As much as I would like to help you take care of your virtual pet, my life consists of things that are, frankly, more important. Rather than sending a plea for aid to every single friend on Facebook, just send it to people that you know won’t mind helping you out (close family members or friends, for example). Another solution would be to just post it on your wall for anyone to click if they like, instead of filling up people’s Facebooks with irritating notifications.

“Like if you eat donuts, ignore if you hate Jesus” posts:

I’m sorry for breaking the bad news, but liking these pictures will not give food to hungry children in Africa, keep me from going to hell or save me from creepy dead girls. And I’m sure that we all have that one friend who likes thousands of these pictures and makes them all pop up on our news feeds. I can’t count how many times I’ve been scrolling down my feed and ended up choking on my food because a picture of Chucky the Doll pops up on my screen. These are scams; I haven’t liked one of these in years, and I haven’t been murdered in my sleep… (cue creepy music)… yet.

There you have it, folks: your complete guide on how to not be annoying on social media sites. Follow these simple rules, and all your Facebook friends will soon bow down to your non-irritating self. Of course, humans are flawed, and there are always going to be people on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram who make you want to rip your hair out, which leads me to my last rule: Just ignore them. Everyone’s different, and what’s important to you may not be important to another person. And let’s admit, we all look pretty darn cute in those selfies.