by Sueji Han, section editor

I get to the classroom and look for a seat to the right. My new friends Sophia and Diana are side by side like always.

“Hey guys! Do you mind if I join?”

All of the other people make some space, but Sophia doesn’t look up. She’s whispering something to Diana, whose eyes light up as she laughs and whispers back.

I clear my throat.   

“Sorry, did you say something to me?”

Sophia looked confused. I smiled, but grabbed my desk and moved it as much as I could to the left.

I have many friends but I like to keep my friendships away from too many secrets or sharing them in public. Everyone makes different kinds of friends: emotional ones, dramatic ones, crazy ones, calm ones. Among those, there are the secretive ones who show me that whatever relationship I may have with them.

Most relationships have secrets, it may be a joke or something serious. The content of the actual secret isn’t what bothers me. It’s more of the motions: whispering into their ears, looking at the people around that may also be curious, facial expressions, and even the tone of voice. It’s the situations around the people that like to share their secrets in public. Sometimes friends will have something that should stay private between each other, and I’m fine since I’m not the one involved. But talking about secrets in public makes others around them feel uncomfortable.  I get that when you’ve absolutely got to tell your best friend something, it can feel like the surroundings don’t matter.

But is it worth hurting the people around you? It’s hard for an entire group to know the same secrets and laugh together, but I think that’s better than the one or two knowing and the rest not. People have personal space in calls or texts when they aren’t together and can be shared then. They feel left out, which could lead to misunderstandings and drama that could end friendships or become distant. Once a friendship is damaged it’s hard to start again, for me at least.

Friends are important people to everyone in some way, but no one can feel the loss of friends until they are gone. I think one of the most important things in a friendship is trust, if there are secrets, things can only get worse. There are a diverse range of friends that people meet, but it’s right that you be fair to all of them. You and that person chose each other to build something special: friendship. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is boring or always exciting. Give each person a chance to trust.

I trust my friends and some I have more secrets with than others, and I prefer to share my secrets in a private area. Some may not care about secrets being shared in public, some may find sharing their secrets in public uncomfortable. People know that secrets are hurtful but still do it anyway. If you were in the other person’s shoes, you would feel hurt on the inside so try being considerate to the people and friends around you.